There just isn't enough time to reflect on the myriad of events, interactions, and frustrations that occur each day in my classroom, with administration, and in the hallway.

Sometimes it's enough to just want to throw in the towel. I get lost in which battle I'm trying to fight.

I cam here for one battle...these kids are more likely to drop-out then go to college. Most of them cannot read at grade level...math is even worse. They have to resist gangs, teen pregnancy, chaotic homes, abuse, neglect, hunger, betrayl from those who are supposed to care for them, and who knows what else. Some of their parents are a mere four or five years older then I. They need help, advocates, love, care, attention, devotion, and someone who can tell them they can make it and push them to get there. Many people make resolution and give up when the road gets tough...same with these kids. It's hard...a battle...constant and draining.

But that was all I expected. I didn't expect for my principal to tell me I didn't care and that it was evident, that I had poor regard for classroom management, that I didn't know how to lesson plan, that I made to many copies, that I didn't write dark enough on the chalkboard, that my room was disorganized, and all the other accusations I have felt.

I didn't expect parents response to my phone calls to be "she said your class is boring and she doesn't like science" or "he got all C's so I bought him an iphone".

What battle do I even fight? I'm fighting to survive the work week...thoughts of thriving have been long gone.

But am I even fighting for these kids anymore? My principal is the reason the school is failing...without a doubt. But she runs us...what do we do?

If it's anything like the last two years 50% of the staff will quit...the kids will lose stability...again. Collaboration will fail, commradrie will fail, and the cycle will continue.

ugh.