Thriving and surviving

What exaclty does each of those words mean in my daily life?

Are we always expected to be thriving? Is it ok to survive? I believe that God expects us to struggle, to barely crawl, or sometimes just to lean on Him. However, when I think of the word survive...a dark cloud drifts in. It doesn't seem appropriate to ever just survive.

Is there a middle ground?

I think the answer is no. However, I know the human perspective is limited and this seems to be a case in which that matters. Do we understand God's definition of thriving and surviving?

Webster defines "to thrive" as follows:
(1) to grow vigorously
(2) to gain in wealth or possessions : prosper
(3) to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances —often used with on

and defines "to survive:
(1) to remain alive or in existence : live on
(2) to continue to function or prosper

This year is rough...I've often classified my state as surving.. Along with this has come a nagging sense of guilt that I'm not being faithful to what God has asked me to do; or, more often, guilty of having a bad attitude and not approaching life with joy. I've felt as though God has called us to a life in which we thrive and that I was failing.

I think my definition is wrong. I defined thriving as feeling energetic, adventerous, significant, showing obvious growth, or being optimisitic. I also defined it as feeling in control and independent...which is the opposite of what this year has been. I've been more dependent on the help of others, support of others, and encouragement by my friends and family then ever before. I've also felt maddenly out of control.

How can I be thriving?

But then I stopped. I reflected and I asked God to perform a miracle. It was a bad day and I was spent. He spoke...finally. Thriving means to grow vigourously or to progress towards a goal.

Yes, I want to be a successful professional and good teacher. But it's not the ultimate goal. I want to be a woman of God. I've learned more through this year of trail then any other time in my life.

I've learned to lean...minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

I've learned to trust...I don't know why I'm here or if I'm even contributing at all, but God wants me here...so I'll trust him.

I've learned to be loved. Everyone I love is far away...and the people here are often downright mean or distant. I have to trust that God loves me no matter what and that it can be enough for me.

I'm very stubborn and independent. Some of those I've trusted most have wounded me the worst in my life. God is not a person, I know He is perfect, but that doesn't make it easier to remember these things in the darkest moments.

Thank goodness there is grace.